Monday, 16 August 2010

News: Scientists prove 'Gaydar' Really Exists!

I've been telling people this for fucking ages, but nOoOoOo! Now I have scientific backing! 

Let me attempt to explain: A gay man only has to see another gay man and he knows. We give off a signal that slips under the radars of most heterosexuals, but a gay man's gaydar starts beeping. We can't be fooled. I don't care if the man in question has had sex with a hundred women and has two hundred kids. The gaydar can't be beaten. It was invented by mother nature herself. WE KNOW.

There is no fucking closet in gaydom. The gay translation of 'coming out of the closet' is: he decided to let heterosexuals in on the secret that every homosexual already knew. 

Do you think when we call your favourite popstar "gay", we're being horrible? We're just softening you up for the blow. Yes, they claim not to be gay. Some even go so far as to get girlfriends, even wives. But when the source of your fame and wealth is screaming female fans, you pretty much have to give the customer what they want, which is a singing/dancing fuck fantasy.

*Inhales...and... exhales* I'm calm. Beep... beep... beep! Gaydar is going off. I knew I shouldn't have put MTV on. HE is always on there.

Back to the news story: Researcher Dr Lorenza Colzato, of Leiden University in the Netherlands, conducted research into whether straight and gay people focus their attention differently. He concluded that the gaydar exists, ensuring that gay people pay more attention to detail, allowing them to pluck potential partners out of a crowd.

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